Hi everyone, Forest here, master of social media and currently in possession of the school horse iPad.
(Plus, the internet connection is stronger in my pasture than in the big school horse playground… Please don't tell the people at the curling club that I'm stealing their internet. Probably.)
If you’re wondering why I’ve been escaping from my stall so often these last few weeks, it’s because I’ve been given a new reporting assignment. The latest? I’m collecting campaign promises from all the school horses who live in the back of the barn. Yes, most of us hard working boys have dreams of being elected School Horse of the Year, and voting starts on Saturday, December 1.
Here, in alphabetical order by their barn names, is the list of campaign promises made by the boys:
It’s My Kinda Town
Big Frank promises to stop overreacting when the arena heat comes on, and will provide personal escorts EVERY DAY to help fellow slow learners find their stalls.
Bo promises to stop telling the instructors which gaits should be done when during group lessons, and promises to provide a year round mud pit in the pasture.
Sun of Achilles
Brinkley, AKA ‘the cloud’ for having the smoothest canter in the land, loves his time with little riders. He promises free on-demand spa treatments for all.
Dudley Do Right
Duke’s Winged Medallion
Dudley and Duke are always the last horses to go out at night because of their thick coats and long sessions with blow dryers. They have decided to open a blow out bar and will offer services each night. By appointment only.
If elected, I promise to share all those big rocks that keep finding their way to my feed tub. Perhaps some other horse needs help slowing down their eating? I would never rush through all the deliciousness I find waiting for me.
Mr. Rogers and Hawaiian Cat
Fred and Hugo both know the value of a good nap, so the Quarter Horse and the Saddlebred are coming together and promising mandatory nap times.
Rumours of War
Joey has some anger management problems, especially when riders drop their stirrups. He has proposed the issuance of a ‘No Stirrup Dropping’ card that horses can rent from him on a week by week basis. Proceeds go to …Joey’s therapy sessions.
Frank the Pony loves life in the calorie controlled paddock with his best friend, ME. He does, however, have some issues with sudden noises, especially the arena heater. He has promised to provide group counseling session for those affected by the heater. Running the sessions? The laid back Fjord, of course!
If miraculously elected, he will not serve.
It’s all too confusing.
Way Cool Willy
Picasso understands that his attitude toward some of co-workers won’t win him many votes, so he promises to improve his attitude in the arena. He urges others to keep their opinions to themselves as well.
It’s always the quiet ones who have the best ideas. Sparky promises to provide unlimited brushing by small children. Your back and head might not be so clean, but your legs will be spotless.
Bonnie Novel Santoro
Sundance, AKA ‘The Master of the Pasture’ has made a huge promise to the lesson horses and will relax the code of conduct in the pasture. On Saturday nights only, gentlemen.
Fort Chiswell’s Aristocrat
Thomas has enjoyed his first year at Knollwood, and has especially enjoyed his trips around the country as the practice horse. If elected, the rookie promises to stay out of trouble and to keep working his way into the hearts of Knollwood Kids.
Tony has never seen a mint he didn’t like, and didn’t talk about. His campaign promise is to provide FREE MINTS FOR ALL LESSON HORSES!!
Dakota’s Diamond Sam
Elder statesman Willy has done it his way, and wouldn’t change a thing. (Well, maybe he’d work on his fear of fly spray, but that’s a story for another time…)
He does, however, promise to share his favorite food with his fellow workers. Yes, thanks to Willy, FREE EQUINE SENIOR FOR ALL!
The fine print:
All Knollwood Knockout members who have paid their 2019 dues will be issued a ballot for the election. Your instructor and election commisioner can get your ballot and dues envelope. Please deposit your special envelope and dues in the ballot box in the school barn.
No photo ID is required.
You just need to be a Knockout to vote!
Be sure to stop by this Saturday for Soul Fire ornament making in the show barn lounge. For only $10, you can create a unique ornament which will be fired at the studio and returned at the Knockouts Holiday Gala on December 15.